157 Letters
by AVMabs
Summary: After Blaine Anderson's untimely death, each member of New Directions leaves a letter on his grave for every month that changes for a year.
1. Prologue

**A/N: I'm sorry. It's half past nine and I want to write sad things.**

Prologue

It wasn't unexpected for Blaine to die anymore. The diagnosis came too late and he didn't want to have to go through chemotherapy that wasn't going to work. It was unexpected, though, for him to die when he did.

Two nights after they won Nationals, one night until they were going home, Blaine had a seizure in his sleep. He was honestly just tired; he didn't think to change before sleeping. Nobody was there to loosen the tight bow tie around his neck, and he was asphyxiated in the night.

It was, needless to say, a shock for Kurt when he rolled over in the morning to see Blaine's too pale face and blue tinted lips. Kurt had hoped through his anguished fear that maybe, just maybe, Blaine would be resuscitated. He was too upset to notice the grimace that made clear rigor mortis had set in. Blaine Anderson was headed into the west.

Kurt's anguished scream woke up the boys. Mike was the first to realise that something was terribly wrong, and he was the one to send a half asleep Rory to wake Mr. Schue up at seven in the morning.

After the paramedics were called and the white sheet was placed over Blaine's body, Kurt called Burt. Kurt was numb. The grief had set in, but his body was rejecting it, leaving him with an empty shell and a broken heart.

The numb stage didn't last long; the girls had been told, and they'd entrusted Tina with the job of seeing how Kurt was holding up. And then Kurt cried. Not tears that he'd cried when he was getting bullied; these tears were the broken ones.

These were the tears that he'd cried when his mother had died.


	2. Kurt

**A/N: Sad things, yay.**

Chapter 1 - Kurt

_Blaine?_

_It's Kurt. First of all, I miss you. I miss the hugs and laughter and the way that you would jump on the furniture like it wasn't at all dangerous. I miss your smile and the way that you don't, sorry, wouldn't cry until you were on your own. Heck, I even miss the anger management. But most of all, I just miss you._

_I wish you were here, baby. I just wish that you'd told us about the stupid headaches before you'd collapsed because now you're dead. You're fucking dead, Blaine, and it's not okay. I'm not okay. WE'RE not okay. Just stop being dead. Stop it, please. I miss you, Blaine. _

_Dad and Carole had to clear out your room, you know? Because it's too painful for me, and Cooper's been too stoned or wasted every time we've asked him. Yes, Blaine. Cooper Anderson: model actor, intelligent young man, Dalton graduate, Harvard boy. He's drinking and doing drugs and God knows what other awful stuff. See what it's doing to him? _

_It's not just him, either. It's everyone. When we got home, Finn just went ape shit. You could hear him screaming and breaking stuff and nobody had the heart to stop him because we know that he wished he'd been nicer in the beginning, that he didn't ever know you. God, Blaine. _

_Do you remember when you first introduced me to The Lord of the Rings? We watched one a week, and I was pretty bored until Rivendell? Then Frodo said he wished The Ring had never come to him and Gandalf said that it was the same for everyone who lived to see such times?_

_It's not only a passing thing anymore. Frodo may have been close to dying, but you're actually dead, Blaine. You're gone. You're gone and it's painful. Oh, not to mention the fact that you're not living to see such times. But I am. _

_It's like a part of me is missing now, Blaine, and it's a part of me that I'll never get back. Again, I'm emphasising the headaches. You shouldn't have waited until you threw up in the middle of class to tell people, sweetheart. You really shouldn't have. _

_Mike told me that he suspected it, you know. It was upsetting, really; it was especially upsetting to find out that he'd talked to you._

_You're stupid. You're stupid, Blaine Anderson, and I love you for it,_

_Kurt._

**A/N: So I lost my ability to write long things.**


End file.
